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  • Tim Lee

On Relationships and Sex | Exploring Heaux Tales Truths for Teaching Life and Ministry (part 3)

Updated: Mar 8

I remember when the “It’s Complicated” option was added to relationship status for Facebook users. I think so many people liked that option at the time, because their romantic dealings were undefined and consequently, unclear. In many of these instances, one or both people may have felt like they were in a relationship-- even engaging in activities that couples engage in, but absent titles translated into a lack of commitment and a lack of responsibility which ultimately created a culture where people were able to “have their cake and eat it too.”


Despite the frequent frustrations that can come from foggy relationship statuses, it seems like, more and more, unclarity has become the new norm. I personally feel like relationships are going out of style and being replaced by situationships and entanglements. Either way, relationships (or whatever else they are called these days) can be very complex; and I gather this is one of the messages Jasmine Sullivan intended to convey in her latest project, Heaux Tales.

As I explore why relationships are so complicated in recent years, I have concluded it’s largely related to culture and how we view relationships and sex as a culture. We are bombarded with sex in music, music videos, sex tapes, movies, television, and most of the commercials in between; not to omit social media platforms, and how pornography and other sexually insinuated content is so easily accessible on hand-held computers. Sex is no longer private. Many people engage in it leisurely. There are no rules. No commitment, and little to no intimacy. While such a philosophy of sex can be viewed as beneficial and entertaining for a time, there are far-reaching consequences that not only affect the individuals engaged in such a lifestyle, but the culture as a whole.


Sex is pleasurable, fun, exciting and healthy. But it is also powerful and sacred, profound and mysterious. Gnostic philosophy teaches that when GOD fashioned “male and female” in the first creation story (Genesis 1:26) they were one androgynous being, created in GOD’s image and after GOD’s likeness [ALL in all and self-sustaining and therefore both male and female]. The Genesis story of GOD creating Eve (Genesis 2:21), is when the androgynous being was divided into two beings, prompting an everlasting longing to reunite with their “other half”. In the mystery of this truth lies the secrets of sex—secrets we are unavailable to when we view sex as and engage in sex for sport.


Sex presents the opportunity for the sexes to reunite. It is the highest physical connection two human beings can experience. And in this connection, there exists the potential to create, re-create, and procreate; the potential to heal, be healed, and to experience perfect harmony. Sex is literally magical, as it is one of the doors to the spiritual realm, holding the power behind the “Law of Attraction.” This power is called Org Energy. The most powerful energy in the universe, Org Energy is the power and energy of creation. It is the root of words like orgasm, organic, organism, and original.


In my humble opinion, this is not the kind of power that should be played with—which is unfortunately what present society is doing. And the spiritual ramifications behind this type of activity are unfathomable. The entities and spiritual beings that feast off our sexual energy, the inadvertent manifestations coming into this realm from the portals we open from sex… What are we creating in our ignorance? Sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted/ unplanned pregnancies are the tip of the ice burg when it comes to the unintended effects of casual sex.

And since most people are having sex earlier in life and earlier in relationships, the unintended effects ripple over into relationships. People become possessed with what they think is the P or the D, but it’s more likely the energy their partner has access to which is felt in the intimate moment. The impact of the energy, especially for people who are unprepared to handle or deal with it, causes people to behave in ways that are unlike their natural selves (possession).

“I can’t help it, it’s a shame what he do to me / My girls ask me what it is, I say it’s the D / I start going out my mind when he come around / That’s why he gets all my time ‘cause he put it down.”

– Lyrics from "Put It Down" by Jasmine Sullivan


People stop thinking straight. It impacts their ability to communicate clearly. Miscommunication rises and suddenly it becomes apparent why the drama unearthed in Malcom and Marie hit so close to home for so many.


I don’t want this post to scare people out of expressing themselves sexually. But to remind sexually active people (young and old, and married and single) what Ben Parker told is nephew Peter, “With great power comes great responsibility.” Sex comes with a great power. And the same reason we don’t put guns in the hands of children and have regulations and manuals for operating power tools and heavy machinery, so should there be some humility and responsibility when it comes to handling the greatest power in the universe—sex.


By the end of this series, I will release a Bible Study tool ministry leaders can use to have engaging conversations in their ministries.

  • Using Heaux Tales Truths for Teaching Ministry | A Topical Bible Study for Honest Adults (On or before Sunday, March 27, 2021)